Just a Small Incident Really!
by peppermint quartz
Summary: Nothing big happened, except that Shikamaru's apartment is trashed, the Academy students had to be sent home early, and six shinobi are now stadning in front of the Hokage. It's really just a small incident. Really!
1. It was supposed to be a great day

A/N: Trying out different POVs. A small incident that happened in Konoha.

Pairings: Still my fave couple, ShikaTema.

Set after events in my ShikaTema M ficlet, _Cherries_. Manga-wise, Naruto and Sakura are out with Sai, Yamato at the bridge. Kakashi is in hospital. Gaara, just recovering from his ordeal, visits ally Konohagakure with his siblings.

_**---- here is Tsunade's account ----**_

I thought it would be a peaceful day. What with clearing my desk of paperwork, Shizune not fretting around me and out on a date instead (good on you, Iruka! I support ya fully!), the wonderful weather, Izumo and Kotetsu out queuing for her for the latest lottery ticket, I was about to enjoy a blissful afternoon of non-work.

Or I was supposed to.

The six shinobi ranged before my desk, their faces shading from pink to deep crimson. Hinata, Shino and Kiba looked embarrassed, Ino looked defiant, Shikamaru guilty, and Temari of Suna incensed and upset at the same time.

"What the fuck happened?" Sometimes there was no suitable synonym to replace the invective's power. I glared hard at all of them, except Temari; she was an ambassador after all. "Half the third training ground is demolished, the academy students are spooked by the roof falling in... and your apartment, Shikamaru, how the hell are you gonna pay for the repairs to the _building?"_

A deafening wall of silence met my questions. No one dared to look into my eyes.

_Teenagers. _I sighed and rubbed my temples. Time for the stick.

"If no one's gonna start telling me what happened, I'm gonna have to sit each of you down, one by one, _and beat the truth out of all of you_."

The kids shrank back, startled by my snarled threat. I raised my eyebrow; a useful trick Granddaddy taught me.

Temari looked away fiecely; she'd be the most difficult. Even Naruto would be able to tell her emotions were not yet under control, and questioning her now would bring no joy.

Shikamaru was stock still, but I detected the twitch in his jaw. His gaze ticked from Ino to Temari and back again, the jaw twitching as he gritted his teeth. He wasn't ready yet either.

Ino's demeanor was resentful and mutinous. Not yet either.

Kiba stood at attention, his eyes flicking towards Shikamaru and Temari's steadfast not-looking-at-each-other. The boy knew something. Perhaps him.

Or Shino, although I couldn't tell if he was asleep or awake behind those shades he always wore. On the other hand, he can generally be relied on to be the sensible one.

But then there was still the Hyuuga girl. Hinata fiddled with her fingers nervously, gaze fixed on the ground. Hmmm...

Okay. Maybe it was impossible for other people, but I am Hokage.

"Kagebunshin no jutsu!"

The six shifted as five other Tsunades stepped behind one Konoha shinobi each. Temari was left alone. Tsunade behind the desk motioned for her to sit down.

"The rest of you," she said as Temari slumped into the chair. "Follow me. Uh, you know what I mean."

_**---- here ends Tsunade's account for now ----**_


	2. I don't know what they said

_**---Hinata's account starts here---**_

I wasn't sure if I could contain the nerves shaking me from head to foot. When she put down our drinks I jumped in my seat.

"Any of the kids hurt?"

"Uh, n-no, Hokage-sama," I said. That wasn't a question I expected. But then it made sense, since that was where they witnessed the big fight.

"You just relax first, Hinata. In the whole fiasco, I doubt Team 8 has anything to do with it except as unfortunate bystanders." Tsunade sipped her tea.

We were in the lounge, it being empty at this time of the day. She had tea and I had a glass of water. Perhaps I should have coffee... no, it makes me jittery. But I seldom spoke to Tsunade-sama, and after what she said...

"Hinata-san."

I jumped; the glass shook in my hands. Thankfully no water spilled. "Hokage-sama."

"Call me Tsunade-san, I prefer that."

"Tsunade-sa...sama."

She smiled. I liked seeing her smile, it was always so warm and generous that I forget she is one of the most powerful women alive today. "So, Hinata, what happened?"

"Um, we were in th-the Academy. We had t-to give a talk to the s-students about tracking an-and survival skills." I swallowed and thought about what I had to say next. Shino said that would help control my stuttering, if I spoke slowly and breathed evenly, and planned before I opened my mouth. I took a deep breath.

"Kiba-kun was... detailing our trek through th-the Forest during our first chuunin exam. He said my byakugan abi-ability had been of great help, and a student asked what it was. So K-Kiba-kun asked me to demonstrate, but the students could not verify if I was telling the tr-truth unless... unless there was someone acting as my target."

I saw her eyes narrow; was she upset? Biting the inside of my cheek, I reminded myself to be calm so I wouldn't stammer too much. I knew Father disliked hearing it, he said it was a sign of weakness. Tsunade-sama nodded for me to continue.

"Instead I went out of the building with Shino-kun, while Kiba-kun planned w-with some students what to do inside the classroom. I was sup-posed to go in l-later to tell them what I saw. That w-was we saw when Ino-san and Temari-san arguing."

"What did they talk about?"

I paused. To tell the truth, I wasn't really listening hard. First of all it was rude to listen in, secondly they looked really fierce and I didn't want to be in their way.

"I h-heard something about an apart-apartment. And... and Ino-san was calling Temari-san... um, she called Temari-san some n-names."

"Rude names, I presume."

I felt the warmth stole up my cheeks. I didn't want to get Ino-san into trouble, but that was what I heard. Before Tsunade-sama could ask, I went on. "B-but I could be wrong. Anyway th-that was when Shikamaru-kun came up to them b-both."

I really, really hoped she wouldn't ask me to continue, but I knew it was a vain hope.

As I expected, she raised an eyebrow. "And...?"

_**---here Hinata's account ends... for now---**_


	3. The writing on the board

_**--- Kiba's account ---**_

This was just the _bestest _way to end an already sickeningly great day. I swear, today really, _really _ranks.

Tsunade-sama pounded the arm of a chair, then she swore as the chair broke into pieces. "I just paid for that effin' pile of lumber!" She glared at it, then returned her attention to me. "So? You asked Hinata and Shino to go outside the building. And then?"

"I asked the kids what we should write on the board. Tasuki – that skinny redhead, about yay tall? - suggested something cheeky about Iruka-sensei."

"You guys are the same rank, kid. Stop calling him sensei, will ya?"

"Habit." I shrugged. You don't stop calling someone teacher just 'cause they don't teach you any more, ya know? "Anyway, that's when I heard the commotion. Akamaru said Temari and Ino were outside, so I thought I'd call out a greeting from the window while the kids debated what to write on the wall."

Tsunade-sama raised her eyebrows. "What did you see then?"

I chewed on a hangnail. "I saw Ino giving Temari the finger."

"Ino. The one kunoichi who's so intent on being the perfect woman giving someone the finger."

"Yeah, I was stunned too, y'know? I think that was what pissed Temari off, 'cause that's when she slung that fan off her back and got into battle position. Don't mind tellin' ya I was worried. I mean, I once saw her beat Tenten, and Ino's no battle expert, y'know?"

"I know. Did Temari attack her?"

"Nah, some talk. But Temari seemed pretty upset. The last time I saw her – a couple weeks ago? - she was still on a high. Pheromone overload." I smirked at the memory.

_Akamaru must be dying for another bath, given the amount of mud he seemed intent on smearing over his fur. His _white _fur. I swear, one of this days I'll make him give himself a bath; all that scrubbing and he ruins it in an hour's walk!_

"_Hrmmmwrr."_

"_Temari? She's supposed to have left last evening."_

"_Wrroooowf?"_

_I gave in. Temari usually had a morsel about herself for Akamaru, and most times she was willing to give my dog a good rub behind his ears. Although I doubt anyone other than me would touch Akamaru right now, what with all the sticky mud. I sniffed the air as we ran towards the intersection. "Temari and Shikamaru? I though Shikamaru's supposed to be at the Academy at this time."_

_Akamaru whined. His nose was more accurate than my extremely sensitive one, and I was surprised he didn't catch the shadow nin's scent._

"And how was she today?" Tsunade cut into my recollection.

I wrinkled my nose. "Wind wasn't right, but I'd say adrenaline overload. Then I'd say her blood pressure shot through the roof when Shikamaru turned up."

_It's good very few people has my nose. Or Akamaru's nose. His scent was all over her. Literally. Either she was wearing his clothes – and if the Nara fella wears women's kimonos, I really don't wanna know – or they had sex last night. And most probably this morning._

_Hmmm._

_She was massaging her wrists, like they were kinda sore. Now, a jounin is more than able to channel chakra into breaking bonds, so something's quite fishy there._

_It's kinda funny that she ran into a tracking nin when she has all these little things to hide. The whole of team 8 has been taught to notice fine details._

The Hokage pressed on. "What happened then?"

"Well, Shino and Hinata had backed away to, like, thirty feet from the three. Shikamaru was gesticulating, Ino I think kept on interrupting, cos Shikamaru and Temari were both glaring at her every now and then. Oh, that's when Temari wanted to leave. So Shikamaru tried the kagemane no jutsu to keep her. But, y'know, his chakra reservoirs ain't too deep, so when the jutsu broke Temari whirled her fan around and knocked Shikamaru out cold."

"So that's why he has a bandage around his forehead." Tsunade nodded with understanding. "What was Ino doing all this while?"

"I couldn't see. She wasn't in my line of vision. But when Temari knocked Shikamaru unconscious, she got kind of... stunned? Then, I have no idea why, she opened her fan fully and swung it in the direction of the building."

"... How did the kids get involved in this anyway?"

"Well...eh heh... They saw me looking out for so long they thought I was hinting to Hinata and Shino. Plus they'd finished their message on the board, so they were watching the scene below as well."

Tsunade-sama's eyes narrowed. "I _see... _by the way, what did they write?"

_Iruka and Shizune, kissing in a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G._

I smothered my amusement. "Nothing important."

_**-----Kiba's account stops for the moment----**_


	4. Hey, I won the bet!

_**----------Shino speaks. Really!--------**_

I didn't like to answer questions.

But I understood. Questions are necessary to get the big picture. Without examining the drones and the workers, how can you tell what sort of swarm is forming outside a beehive in late summer?

In any event, I was but a small player in the fiasco this morning.

Tsunade-sama knew it too. She angled her body away from me, much like most people did. I didn't mind her aversion, because our strength is still appreciated.

"What happened, Shino?"

"I went outside the building with Hinata for the students to test out her byakugan. Ino arrived and started insulting Temari-san of Suna. It was unwise, in my opinion; even I would find it hard to beat her."

"Considering your capabilities, she must be very powerful indeed."

"She is." I wondered why many shinobi still thought of kunoichi to be the weaker ones in their teams. Almost all the women I met were powerful: my mother, Kurenai-sensei, Tsunade-sama, Temari. And Hinata was shaping up to be more powerful than all of them.

(I am not biased.)

"Temari-san said Ino was being presumptuous about her place. As a chuunin Ino should be more deferent, and as a woman she should show more self-respect instead of sleeping naked in a man's house. I assumed that Temari-san was speaking of Shikamaru's apartment, because Chouji had to attend a family banquet the evening before last and was not with Team Asuma when they came back late afternoon yesterday."

Tsunade nodded. "Good assessment."

"Ino then claimed she had every right to sleep where she wanted and with whomever she pleased. Although it is a true statement, I think her tone put Temari-san off." Hinata had blushed very red at the bald proclamation, I recalled. She had taken a few steps back so she could avoid hearing. "When Hinata retreated for the silence of the eaves I joined her. Naturally, being as attuned to insect life as I am, I could still hear everything."

"Understood. Go on."

"Temari-san was about to upbraid Ino on the proprieties of a kunoichi when Shikamaru turned up. Somehow Temari-san seemed more keyed up when he appeared. Am I right in saying Shikamaru is involved with Temari-san?"

I saw the glimmer of agreement in the Hokage's eyes. Time to collect the bet from Kakashi-sensei: he'd bet that Shikamaru would be the last to form any sort of commitment. Now, if he had bet on Kiba...

"He used his shadow jutsu on Temari-san. Ino then began to explain everything, but I think she was manipulating the facts. Temari-san was released from Shikamaru's jutsu, but then she hit him with her fan." I paused, unsure if the Hokage would believe me. That didn't matter; the truth was more important. "I think Ino manipulated Temari-san into doing it."

_**------------Shino's revelations end here-----------**_


	5. I don't LIKE sharing, okay!

_**--------------Ino's account-------------**_

I definitely was not loving it.

"Dammit, Ino!" Tsunade-sama smashed a fist into the wall. It was a marvel of Konoha architecture that the building didn't crumble on us all. Or perhaps"Have you lost your mind? Staying over at a male teammate's place was bad enough, but sleeping there naked?! Then insulting one of our most important guests?"

"Oh, like she wasn't at fault either?" I didn't mean to yell, but it burst out of me somehow. "She comes barging into Shika-kun's house likes she owned it, and then she slams him across the corridor, and she releases a whirlwind in the building. I could barely keep everyone safe. And you are blaming _me_?"

"Yes I am. If you'd show a little more propriety or the littlest amount of common sense..."

I clamped my hands on the table. "In case you haven't noticed, sensei, she's the one attacked my teammate."

"And you're the one who riled her up. Ino, I've been training you for the past two years you think I don't know what you're like?"

I bristled. Then I forced myself to take a couple of calming breaths, the way she had taught Sakura and me. "Look, we got in late. Like, so late it was almost early. I didn't want to drag myself all the way across town to face my mom and dad. So Shika-kun said I could bunk over, like we usually do, y'know?"

"But usually it's you, Chouji and Shikamaru. Not just you alone."

"I was very exhausted." I exhaled and spread my clenched fists. "Besides, she had no right to beat him up. 'S not like they are married or dating or something. He's just her guide."

"Then, after you tried to shield everyone from the whirlwind? That was a good job by the way."

She noticed? That was better. At least not everything was _my _fault. "I tried to wake Shika-kun up, and told him I'd track Temari. I'm not sure he heard me though... he was pretty out of it. Anyway, I managed to find Temari at the academy."

Tsunade steepled her fingers. "Then what?"

"She called me a slut for sleeping with my teammate." The memory burned inside; I let the fires bank. For now. "I ignored her, naturally. It was for Shika-kun's injury that I confronted her."

"_Bitch! What made you think you could interrupt Shika-kun and me?"_

"_You and 'Shika-kun'? Don't make me laugh!" Temari had spat. Her face was pale with anger. I don't get why she's angry, but there it is. "You're probably the second-most troublesome woman in his life!"_

_I folded my arms. "So what if I am? He's like he's father, you know."_

_Temari shouldered her fan and walked off. I ran forward to grab her arm. She had to pay for what she did. No one hurt Shika-kun without facing _me.

Sensei must have seen the challenging gleam in my eyes because that was when she insisted I tell her the whole story.

I paused to reorganize my thoughts. I didn't take long.

"I tried to grab her arm.

"'Get off me.' She shook me off with no trouble. I must say she was stronger than I accounted her for; must be the effect of carting that humongous fan around.

"'What about Shika-kun?' I demanded. 'Who's going to pay for his apartment's damages?' With the amount of money Shika-kun brings in every month he'll pay for it in two hundred and seven years."

"He'll be fine, with that thick skull of his. Plus he's got some insurance." Tsunade-sama waved off my concerns. I furrowed my brows, hoping it was true. She nodded for me to continue.

"I yelled at Temari, 'You don't hurt people I love and get away with it!'

Temari slapped my arm down and unloaded her fan. Ino Yamanaka, do not presume to touch me again. Ever.'

I straightened and told her I was not the one being presumptuous. She then said I didn't know how to be a proper kunoichi, which, naturally, ticked me off."

"_You should conduct your personal affairs with more discretion. Is this how a proper shinobi handles herself?"_

"_I know how to handle myself, thank you." I wondered at her temerity, questioning my professionalism._

_She snorted. "Oh really. Tell, me, Ino, did you know that if you sleep with your teammate, you throw the team dynamic into madness. How do you expect to remain calm, to think clearly if your teammate cum lover was in peril?"_

"_Just because you can't don't think I can't ei-"_

"That was when Shika-kun showed up." I half-smiled, remembering how he had been so quick to protect me by trapping her with the kagemane no jutsu. "Since he was here, I thought I might as well explain the situation clearly."

Sensei's brown eyes narrowed. "So how did you explain? Tell me what you said."

"Well... I said that I was free to sleep over at Shika-kun's place because I've been doing so for years. And that we have sleepovers all the time. So she needn't be agitated about my conduct. Also, Shika-kun was tired after a late night, so she ought to find another shinobi to guide her around." It had been worth seeing the Suna bitch get paler and paler with the information... but if not for my always-right instinct, I'd say she was mad at Shika-kun. But the way she greeted him with an _insult_ and her verbal attacks were all aimed at me... Nah. My womanly instincts had never gone wrong before.

"_That_ was your explanation?" Tsunade-sama shook her fair head. "And then?"

"Well, Shika-kun was about to release his jutsu's hold, so I decided I should take over."

"Which cause him to be knocked out again."

"I didn't expect that." Like heck I didn't. It was Shintenshin no jutsu, the very first I learned from Daddy. I _made_ her whack poor Shika-kun. Yeah, although I trusted my womanly instincts, I didn't want to take the risk. The easiest way was to turn Shika-kun off the violent bitch once and for all... Shouldn't be hard, he'd seen her half-murder poor Tenten, and apparently she'd kill some woman in the Sasuke retrieval mission before him. For a peace-loving and trouble-avoiding shinobi like Shika-kun, that was the easiest way to keep him from harm.

I don't like sharing my people.

_**-------------Ino's account is over----------------**_


	6. I saw what I saw

_**------Temari's account------**_

I didn't want to talk about it.

I really, really didn't. What I wanted was to go back to the embassy and scream my lungs out into my pillow. Or, preferably, knock in his teeth so far down that every time he says 'troublesome' he bites his own balls.

Thing was, I didn't feel nearly as angry as betrayed. _Keeping myself for a jerk like him._

It hurt. Gods, how it hurt.

"You feeling better?" The Hokage looked concerned. I tried to imagine Gaara's face whne he heard the damage I did, and I had to look away.

"Peachy keen."

She wasn't put off by my reticence, surprisingly. "I have all day, Temari-san. But one way or the other you'll need to report what you did, because the council might just construe today's acts of aggression as a signal for war. Again."

"I didn't hurt anyone."

"You wanted to." Her brown eyes were rock hard now. "I really don't want to have to resort to force, since you are an ambassador. And right now, there is no such fiction as 'diplomatic immunity'. If I have to beat the truth out of you, I will, Kazekage's sister or not."

I sat back against the chair. She was probably bluffing. As Hokage she was not at liberty to beat people up for information; the reputation of Konoha was at stake.

But then again, there was still a difference between _probably _and _definitely_.

"We were sprinting the last stretch of the journey. Gaara had dismissed ANBU to return to Suna, since we were now in Konoha territory. But I felt that it would be safer if we were all inside the village; close enough isn't good enough. He'd just been rescued from the Akatsuki, and we didn't know if they were intending him any harm."

_I hoped she bought that line of reasoning._

"_Sis, just because you got an itch you can't scratch, we gotta move so fast?" My brother had whined as we dashed down the path._

"_Shut up, Kankurou." Gaara could be very sweet sometimes. Whichever girl that gets my littlest brother would be the second-luckiest female in the world._

_The luckiest is, of course, me._

She rubbed her nose idly. "They've already got what they wanted; I seriously doubt your brother is in further danger. By the way, how is he?"

"Sleeping for the first time," I said. "He's still able to control sand, though the auto-defense is slightly less responsive than before."  
"I know you three came to see me, then went to the embassy. What happened after that?"

I bit my lip.

"I told my brothers I'd go and meet some other people."

"Shikamaru?"

"Yes, that was my intention, although I didn't say that." I had to look away; this morning's images were still far too vivid. "I bought breakfast because I thought he was still in bed, and I wanted to get to work asap.

"I had a key from the last time I was here. He said it was less troublesome if he didn't need to escort me to and from the embassy to his place as we worked on the new syllabus structure. All the information you gave us is stored in his study."

_And if she believes that I can be a bestselling author. Then again, we did work on the new syllabus. A little. In between all the... other work._

"But when I reached his apartment the door wasn't locked. So I entered and..." Taking a deep, shaky breath, I wondered how the hell I was supposed to continue without losing it. The Hokage hadn't moved a muscle since I began spilling my guts. I've gotten so far with perfect control; no point stopping now.

"I saw him coming out of his bathroom. With only a towel around his hips."

"_Morning, lazy. Brought you breakfast."_

"_Temari." He had the just-got-out-of-bed look, a tousled appeal that screamed out at my nerves and libido. Alright, so I was horny for him. The last time I was there- stop that, Temari. Focus._

"I was embarrassed – a little – and I looked the other way, to see that girl, Ino, coming out of Shikamaru's bedroom. She was... she was not fully dressed either."

_She was wearing a large amount of nothing, her long silky blond hair falling before her breasts. Naked. His childhood friend. In his bedroom. Naked. Female. And he wasn't exactly dressed either._

_I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I dropped everything and backed out of the place. I know I didn't cry, but I don't know why I didn't just die on the spot._

_Maybe I did, and this is a nightmare that I have to relive before I ascend into a heaven devoid of that troublesome shinobi._

"I got out of the apartment. Shikamaru came after me, I think to explain...but... I think I wasn't in the right frame of mind to listen. I, um... I knocked him over with my fan and uh... I sort of released Kamaitachi."

"Holy crap," the Hokage muttered with shocked awe. "In the _building_? How long have you been seeing Shikamaru, Temari?"

I examined the grain pattern of the wooden table between us.

_**---------Here endeth Temari's account...for now----------**_


	7. That's it Women are Troublesome

_**---------Shikamaru tells his tale-----------**_

I leaned back, unable to process. My brain was fried.

If you listened to the rumors about who the hell I was, this would be something quite dramatic. I regarded today as the third most troublesome day in my life. Two bouts with unconsciousness and not actually becoming comatose must be some kind of record. I groaned when Tsunade stopped prodding my head and rebandaged it.

"You've an iron-hard skull. Stop whining." The Hokage slipped into the chair opposite the doctor's table. I massaged the bridge of my nose. Such feminine sympathy; no wonder the girls in Konoha were turning out the way they were. "Alright. Spill. What happened, Shikamaru?"

"She came to my apartment, saw something she didn't want to see, freaked. Knocked me out. I woke up, saw the damage, tracked her to the Academy, where she knocked me out again. Then, with team eight's help, I found her in the training grounds. We argued, battled, demolished half the grounds. Then team Gai came and restrained both of us."

"To the untrained observer that would be a concise and complete record, but this is your boss speaking. All the relevant details, now."

I sighed. I didn't want to share that I was in a relationship with Temari yet, nor that we had came very close to killing each other over a misunderstanding, nor that I felt extremely guilty – almost as bad as the abortive attempt to track the Sasuke idiot.

"Must I?" I've to buy some time to think a way out of the embarrassment. Besides, right now? I wanted to talk to someone else.

She raised an elegantly curved eyebrow. I sighed again. Troublesome day.

"I was showering and, when I came out of the bathroom to go to my study to change, Temari came in."

I had thought I was dreaming. I had been dreaming of her return for weeks. Since we made love, she hadn't been to Konoha. Then there was the Akatsuki incident – I lost sleep over it, worrying that she might have gotten hurt. Not that I would ever admit to it, except to Chouji perhaps.

When she walked in, I wanted so badly to-

"Your study?"

"Ino stayed over last night after a get-together. I offered her the bedroom and used the study."

"And nothing happened?" Her expression was one of doubt.

I glared at her. "Ino is like a sister, okay? She's a teammate, a valuable teammate, and a childhood friend. Nothing more." I chewed the inside of my cheek. "Anyway, Temari dropped by. Probably to get to work. But when Ino opened the bedroom door Temari saw that Ino was naked. And I wasn't dressed either. She jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"I think in this case she had reasonable doubt." Tsunade corrected me. I looked away for a beat, trying not to be confused by the tumultuous events this morning. And the main thing my mind was occupied with was the hurt in her eyes as she looked from me to Ino.

"Anyway, I quickly pulled on pants to chase after Temari, but I think she wasn't ready to hear anything, and used her fan to knock me down a corridor. I must've blacked out or something, but when I woke up, the building was-"

"Partially demolished." The Hokage looked resigned. "I'm gonna work your ass off so you can pay the owner reparations. Thank goodness he had 'shinobi attacks' worked into his insurance. Alright, continue."

I did. "Ino woke me up. She then said we should split up to locate Temari, which made sense. I went to the ice shop we'd visited before first, and downstairs, in the library."

_The taste of lime and lemon in her mouth._ My mouth went dry. I could recall the memorable afternoon two days before my coming-of-age birthday, and mentally shook myself. What happened in the library is my own business.(1)

"When I couldn't find her, I finally sat down and thought, and concluded that she'd go to the academy."

"And when you got there what did you see?"

"Temari yelling at Ino, saying something about being presumptuous." I rubbed my nose. "I didn't want the fight to escalate, so I tried to talk to them. Temari then threatened to beat me to a bloody pulp, and she seemed prepped to do so, so I just held her in place with the kagemane no jutsu. Then Ino explained about the sleeping arrangements – like I told you, Ino in the bedroom and me in the study – but she didn't believe me."

Tsunade muttered under her breath, "Gosh, why wouldn't she?"

"Anyway," I glared at her ineffectually, "I didn't want to, y'know, trap her. So I released the jutsu and the next thing I know, Kiba, Hinata and Shino were trying their best to wake me up from another splitting headache."

The Hokage lifted an eyebrow. "Did you know what Ino did while you were busy being unconscious?"

"No." I frowned. Probably I looked more surly than usual, not that I cared. "After that I asked team 8 to help me track Temari. Kiba helped me onto Akamaru, since I was too groggy to walk."

_'You sure know how to pick girlfriends, Shikamaru. She really whacked you around bad,' said Kiba with a commiserating smirk._

_I merely grunted, feeling sick and nauseous. 'Kiba, just track Temari please?'_

_'So how was she in bed?'_

_'What? Look, what goes on between Temari and I is none of your business-'_

_'I meant Ino.'_

_'THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN ME AND INO!' I exploded. Why was it that no one believed me? Because she was naked? But we stayed over each others' houses all the time and yes, I knew the girl slept naked and that was why I locked MY study!_

_Kiba chuckled. 'Relax, Shikamaru. I'm just yanking your chain. I know you didn't.'_

_'Wha- Kiba, I've just been knocked out. Just take pity on my poor head, why don't you?'_

_'I don't smell her on you. I smell you on her though; but then she was in your room, so that made sense.' _

_'Has anyone told you your nose is a busybody?'_

_'Buddy, my nose is probably the only thing that you can use to prove your innocence, alright?'_

I fiddled with my left ear stud. "Then we found her in the third training ground. She was... upset, so Kiba said he'd watch out for me while I do the 'tact thing'.

"When I got near enough to speak to her she just ignored me, until I asked her what she wanted to do about it. She suggested a proper fight."

"So that was how the grounds got torn up as well." The Hokage buried her face with her hands. "You two have some _serious _dominance issues to work out, kid. If she reacts the way she did again, there might be... repercussions."

Tell me something I didn't know.

_**---------Shikamaru ends his account------------**_


	8. So that's what happened

_**-----------Tsunade summarizes-----------**_

When my kagebunshins were released, I compiled the information in my mind and sorted what I knew out into a coherent account. I groaned when I realized the big screw up was all revolving about Ino, Shikamaru and Temari, the latter two having trust issues to work out. And Ino... either she was deliberately _dense _or she had turned into some evil mastermind. Or perhaps she was just being a possessive girl, the most.. heh, troublesome of all.

I let team 8 go, thankful that their unbiased reports gave me something to base the other three's accounts. Now to deal with them...

"Ino, you'll stay and help me out with updating the records of recent illnesses and injuries. Shikamaru, you need rest, so get on home. The one with Yoshino and Shikaku, not your natural-disaster-apartment." I noticed the wince Temari made. Hmmm... perhaps I could negotiate reparations with her brother later. "Temari, I think the best thing you can do is return to the embassy. It has been an eventful morning."

I had to discipline my apprentice, but I wasn't sure if I could do so without revealing Shikamaru's secret. They obviously wanted to keep it quiet.

As they dispersed I suddenly recalled the video Anko had brought to my attention last year. She had been convulsed with giggles, something the exuberantly flamboyant jounin was not known to do. It slipped my mind; it had been such a long time ago.

-----------

"I'm serious. Watch it, and then tell me what you think. Bye now!"

"ANKO!" I roared after her. What was the purpose of dragging me to a private room with a tape and a chair without telling what the fucking hell the whole thing was about? All she said was 'it might prove to be the key to strengthening the alliance between us and Suna', which was, frankly, useless.

Resignedly I turned on the video. Then gaped. Then rubbed my eyes and gaped some more.

The girl with the short, blonde hair grabbed the black-haired kid by the collar. From the graininess I couldn't be too damn sure, but I could swear it was Temari riding on Shikamaru.

On the top of the Hokage cliff.

I figured they'd thought it was private. But truth was, barring people's homes, there was now security cameras lodged everywhere in Konoha, after the disastrous invasion Orochimaru waged against the village. I shook my mind back to the video, laughing outright when Shikamaru thumped his head against the grass while they continued kissing.

Ah, to be young again.

Evidently they didn't go all the way; she was only kissing him – very thoroughly, I giggled like a teenager to imagine the reaction on the chauvinistic chuunin's face – and he wasn't even allowed to try for any base.

_Well done, Temari of Suna_. I tried to stifle my giggles as the little grainy Shikamaru figure gesticulated wildly at the composed Temari. There was no sound, but I could imagine what was happening. Very vividly. I only wished I knew what Temari said to the boy at the end of their little interlude to stun him into sitting there for the next twenty minutes. (1)

Anko was right. Their... association could prove to be a very strong factor in reinforcing Suna-Konoha ties.

-----------

"Ino," I passed her the new catalog of pills developed by the specialist medic team, "I think you were very brave today, rescuing all the other occupants."

She grunted. I went on, ticking against the proper diagnoses she had made and scribbling down further questions for her to research, "The one thing you did wrong was to question Temari's legitimacy in being at Shikamaru's place."

"Why?"

"I sent her there," I lied smoothly. Not too much of a lie, actually; Temari and Shikamaru were the collaborators on the new syllabus and she definitely had the right to be there to work on the chuunin exams as well. "She was supposed to assist Shikamaru in replacing the texts they took from the library downstairs."

"She acted out of bounds-"

"She was in her right _as a jounin_ to discipline both of you for blurring the line between work and pleasure. I know you didn't do anything with Shikamaru, but how was she supposed to know that?" I noted her mutinous expression and I decided she needed some shaking up. "You are a beautiful girl, Ino, and I think it's time you admit the double standards people place on beautiful girls. It's not good to have that sort of reputation marring the recognition you deserve as a chuunin."

Ino sighed. She went back to recording my comments in her workbook, her face impassive.

Sometimes I wish I had children of my own instead of a few hundred to fret over.

_**-----------Tsunade finishes---------**_

refer to my ShikaTema oneshot, _Cherries_ for more details.

A/N: not over yet... keep on reading :)


	9. I can't believe I have to do this

_**----------Shikamaru's plan----------**_

I endured my mother's fussing. It felt good anyway, not having to move a hand or a foot, although I drew the line at her feeding me.

"Mom, I had two concussions, not a paralyzing debilitation."

"You and your five dollar vocabulary," Mom sniffed. Her brows furrowed. "Did the person who hurt you get caught?"

"Yeah."

"I hope he's punished adequately."

"Whatever. Just let me finish my soup." At my mother's withering glare, I added, "Please?"

When Number One Troublesome Woman left my father and me alone, Dad grinned. "Alright. Who's the troublesome woman you lost your heart to?"

"What?"

"The only reason you can get so beat up is because of some female you don't want to hurt. Did Ino do this?"

I groaned. "Dad, Ino didn't do anything except skew some facts around. And that was quite enoguh damage."

He frowned. "Then who? Sakura isn't about in the village... wait. The whirlwind." You could practically see the lightbulb above his head. "Temari of Suna!"

"Yeah, yeah..." No point denying. But I jerked my head up and shook a warning finger. "Don't tell mom. I don't want her planning weddings or planning assassinations."

He smirked and nodded. Then he grew serious. "You two made up yet?"

I groaned again. My dad, giving me dating advice? It was only marginally better than the 'birds and bees' talk less than two months ago. My ears still stung from hearing him. (Obviously I wasn't listening.)

He slapped me on my knee. "You got a plan to win her back?"

"No." The admission was unwillingly wrenched from me. But whenever I thought of her my heart skipped a beat, and my mind shut down. I don't even need to be around her for these symptoms to manifest anymore – not a good thing.

"Hmmm..." Dad tapped his chin. "What do you value most in yourself, Shikamaru?"

"My freedom, duh."

"You'll lose it when you marry her. Next most important?"

"Intellect, I guess..." Where was Dad going with this?

He shook his head. "She knows how intelligent you are. She'll probably think you're patronizing her. Next."  
"What the hell do you want me to say? My good looks? My hot, tight body? My dignified demeanor?"

"That's it." He snapped his fingers. "Forgo your dignity and win her back."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. "I have no idea what the heck you're talking about."

"Hey, my job here is done. You wanna win the lady's heart, you gotta give something in return."

He sauntered out of my room. I groaned for the third time. Why couldn't I get normal, boring parents?

-----------

I was half-asleep when the full-blown plan hit me.

I smirked. This was going to work, I _knew _it.

First, to remove the bandages around my head...

-----------

"She is resting."

I smiled awkwardly. I hadn't expected Gaara to open the door himself. Didn't the embassy have servants to do that?

"I sent the servants away. What do you want?"

"I need your help. And Kankurou's."

-----------

"You sure about this? It is permanent, y'know."

"Do it before I chicken out."

-----------

-----------

_**----------Shikamaru's plan is started----------**_

A/N: one more chapter to go...


	10. I can't believe YOU did this

_**------Temari's account-----**_

I locked myself in my room and cried.

I hadn't cried for years; not since mother died and Gaara was born. I knew I had to take mother's place in the family.

It had been a thankless task and a long, hard road, but I didn't cry. I hadn't cried. I knew I had the strength to bear with all the crap the world threw in my life, and so I shouldered it.

But today I understood what it meant to have your heart broken. It was as if there was a rope around my neck, slowly choking me; the tears burned like acid onto the pillow, and I was probably bleeding with my nails digging into my arms.

I felt like I couldn't breathe, couldn't exist without pain wracking my frame.

The bastard.

The complete, utter bastard.

I actually kept myself for my first love, and I thought it had been him, and he had fooled me entirely.

No wonder they call him the genius shinobi.

I should have looked for someone stupider than I was. Someone too dumb to find ways to cheat on me. But he was the sparkle in the gray world of mindlessness surrounding me, the one person I could really talk to without feeling stifled by mundaneness.

He had been, I reminded myself fiercely, and fresh tears poured again out of my heart.

_Knock knock_.

"Sis?"

"Go away!" I yelled at Kankurou. I felt bad immediately after; he was only showing concern. But I couldn't bear with pity right now.

"Sis, Gaara and I want to take you out for dinner." Gaara must have said something else to Kankurou, because the twerp added, "Please?"

I sniffed and wiped the tears away. The servants were dismissed, and no one besides me know how to cook a proper meal. And I certainly wasn't cooking tonight. I rubbed my cheeks with the back of my hand and tried to freshen up.

When I opened the door I was almost amused to see both my brothers lean back. Gaara regained his composure faster than Kankurou, and he tilted his head towards the living room. I smiled weakly. Kankurou scratched his cheek and then patted me on my head.

If it was a normal day I'd have slammed his arm into a wall, but strangely I felt better. I linked arms with my second brother and caught up with my youngest brother, burying the hurt and pain deep within.

I was strong.

I had to be.

--------------

When we got to the restaurant my resolve was almost dissipated. If not for Gaara's insistence I would've run back to the embassy and resumed my cry-fest.

"They have excellent dinner entertainment here, I heard." Kankurou's hand patted mine nervously.

I sighed inwardly and waited for the maitre'd to seat us. Taking one look at Gaara we got the best table in the house: secluded but not too far from the stage.

"It's a jazz band," I said. Glancing at the menu I slammed it shut. "I want salmon. And some wine."

"C'mon, sis," Kankurou urged. "It's Gaara's treat. You should rip him off."

Gaara ordered a steak, rare. Apparently his thirst for blood had been transposed onto food rather than prey ever since the chuunin exams. I tore her mind away from that memory; it was when I first met that lying jerk.

The silence descended like a thick fog. Kankurou was trying his best to lighten the atmosphere, I could tell, but I wasn't in the mood to humor him. Gaara was his normal self, silent and broody. The sandgirls had been upset by his ordeal, and secretly I wondered which girl deserved him.

Kankurou sawed through his own chicken, apparently giving up on the 'cheer my sis up' mission.

_'You're just too good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off of you_

_You'd be like heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much'_

The voice was familiar. I frowned; my mind was playing tricks on me. It was because I was thinking of the crybaby again.

It was a good, strong voice though, slightly husky but still smooth and warm.

"Is that-"

"-since when-"

_'Pardon the way that I stare_

_There's nothing else to compare_

_The sight of you makes me weak_

_there are no words left to speak..._

"-ohmigod, someone call the Naras-"

"-I can't believe this-"

_Naras._ My head snapped around. My eyes found the stage. My ears hadn't deceived me.

Nara Shikamaru, his hair licked into a low ponytail, crooning into the microphone. He had on black shirt and pants, and his eyes found my gaze. He nodded at me and smiled; the special smile he had on after our first night together.

_'I love you baby_

_and if it's quite alright_

_I need you baby_

_to warm my lonely nights_

_I love you baby_

_Trust in me when I say...'_

The band built the crescendo as Nara walked from the stage, holding the cordless microphone, towards my table.

_'Oh pretty baby_

_Don't bring me down I pray_

_Oh pretty baby_

_Now that I've found you, stay_

_And let me love you, baby, let me love you...'_

I couldn't stop myself.

I stared.

I giggled.

Then I laughed.

I kept laughing until I was crying, and he was holding me in a tight embrace, the microphone tossed back to the band's original singer. Then I was weeping, and hugging him like I would never, ever let go, and at the moment, I really believed that.

-------------------

"So, can you trust me from now on?"

I pouted. He leaned in to nibble my lower lip and I ducked with a chuckle. "Yeah I do." My fingers traced the little fan he had tattooed on his right hip. "Did it hurt?"

"Not as much as the two concussions you gave me," he teased. I wrinkled my nose at the Nara. "But seriously: do you trust me?"

"I do," I repeated, and sealed the pledge with a kiss. "But do I have to trust her?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Might be a little hard for you."

"Darn tootin', Nara." I sniffed.

He kissed me again, not caring that my brothers were probably able to overhear whatever we were planning to do in my room.

They might learn something.

_**--------------Temari's account ends-------------**_

A/N: I know, Shikamaru singing?! But it was too good to resist :)


End file.
